16 Year Old The Rock Looked About 55

I have no idea if this picture just came out or what but it’s my first time seeing it, and all I have to say is what the hell, man? That’s what Dwayne Johnson looked like at 16? That’s what any human who’s ever inhabited this earth looked like a SIXTEEN? I know he’s a bi dude but Jesus Christ, this guy hit puberty somewhere during the second trimester. He was jerking off in his mom’s womb by month 7. He can’t even drive yet and he’s got a neck that George Washington couldn’t chop down with an axe and the French army.

And no shit kids thought he was a narc, that’s the most cop looking son of a bitch I’ve seen since… well, I don’t really know since. I’ve been arrested a handful of times (most of them before 18 so they’re sealed ya bitch) and I’ve never seen a person who looks that much like a cop. I wouldn’t tell that dude where we were partying, I wouldn’t tell that dude where we were smoking cigarettes, hell I wouldn’t tell that dude that I actually pissed last period and this time I’m just asking so I can go for a walk. I’d keep every secret imaginable from him because he’s clearly an adult pretending to be a child, the likes of which we haven’t seen since 27 year old Taylor Kitsch told us he was 15 year old Tim Riggins, even though he did a masterful job.